It's been kind of surreal. Like a summer break in the winter. I don't know if I can mentally comprehend going back to school tomorrow. These past couple nights I've been watching some great movies - Dead Poets Society, Fight Club, The American President. Tonight I'm watching Working Girl. I've been reading a lot too, getting back into surfing poetry sites on the internet and I just started the first Harry Potter (like I promised myself I would last summer). It's been really necessary. Two weeks ago I would never have guessed this would happen! A lot of things have happened that I never would have guessed. I predicted many things entering teenage-dom, all from my pre-teen reads. Things get strange when they haven't been in the books you've read.
Across from me in the coffee shop is this gaggle of elderly people, maybe mid 60s to mid 70s. They're always so happy, and are here every Sunday morning. I want to have friends like them when I'm their age. Meanwhile, it's odd to think (as I already have my schedule for the year), that there are some teachers I'll just never have and some classes I'll never take. I remember sitting down with the course catalog the spring of 8th grade and making a huge list of all of the classes I wanted to take as an upperclassman; some I have, some I never will. It's so finite. Scary. But in the meantime, I do love sitting here with my mocha and breakfast sandwich, with all of these relationships and conversations and music surrounding me. I love the bustle of familiar life. If I went to college in New York....goodness, that would be the right environment for me. I love ducking into any old shop and knowing that in the back room, there are little communities, dozens on each block. You really can't find that anywhere else; it's exciting. I can completely imagine living there or in London or Cambridge as an adult, raising a family there... I really can.
I'm baking maple oat scones this evening for one of my teachers. I can't wait. Also, now I really want to watch the first Harry Potter movie again....hm...I also played the Sims yesterday. What is happening to me? I also made an apology that was a long time coming. It made me feel pretty refreshed. Phew.
There is nothing more sad than looking down in your mug to see that there's nothing left.
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