As for been there done that

I just got back from the first dance rehearsal for the winter musical at my high school. This will be my third year choreographing, fourth year as a featured dancer, and final year at the high school. We learned a quick routine - very jazzy, right up my alley - which was fun, and then we did an improv. I don't know...I just don't really feel that excited about dancing this year. I've never been or tried to be one of those girls who dances six or seven times a week at a studio because I've always known that I prioritize most of my other extracurriculars over dance and I've very comfortably stayed at the "decently good amateur" ranking, which is fine with me. But I'm not close with any of the girls who are choreographing or "featured" dancing this year, and all of the leads are underclassmen or upperclassmen who I'm not that close to. In the past there has always been a huge cohort of people older than me who a. are extremely talented b. who I've idolized and c. who I eventually have become pretty close to. But for this year it's just not exciting. It's not a "fun thing" for me. For each meeting we've had so far I just keep thinking to myself: do I really have to be there? Can I leave early? which is not a good attitude to go into this with. I could back out now, but this is already on the resumes I sent to colleges and I feel obligated. Eh.